Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Feeling my nails with my lips

I have been driving myself nuts these past few weeks with my fingernails, obsessively feeling the nail with my lips. My husband has really noticed and it's getting on his nerves too. When I was a child I would chew on my nails. Eventually, I started cutting my nails really short so I couldn't chew on them. Then I started to feel my nails with my lips and ever since I have done so. It's better for my nails but I'm definitely anxious, probably about my upcoming c-section. 

I just wish I didn't do it at all. 

Friday, December 27, 2013

The Great Clean Out.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas and is looking forward to the new year ahead. We're still talking Christmas, since there are twelve days of Christmas, but in North America it just isn't paid much attention to anymore. I remember as a child thinking that the twelve days began before Christmas and ran until Christmas day. I like the Roman Catholic calendar much better. I feel like it gives you time to breathe with these festivities. Advent first, a time of preparation. O Antiphons come next in the days right before Christmas. Christmas finally arrives and it is given a full twelve days to be celebrated. The Epiphany comes where Christ is found by the Magi. Then Ordinary time begins until Lent starts. We used to have Christmas go to Candlemas but the vestments are already back to green by that point. There is a lot to do but the calm surety of the march of the liturgical calendar is a great comfort. 

I am in a clean out mood. I'm not sure if it is because of Christmas or because I'm at the end of my pregnancy and am nesting. We'll call it nesting but Christmas kicked it off. I've decided to give up my costumes that I've made over the years. 

At first, I was trying to figure out how to get rid of them. They are historical reenactment clothing that are fitted exactly to that point in my life. They needed corsets and proper undergarments to make them work. Just pawning them off on Goodwill would be the same as throwing them in the trash. They'd never sell them. 

You may wonder why I don't keep them. Well, they're not exactly well made or properly made. I put a lot of work into them but I made them before taking any formal sewing classes. I was a self taught sewer and it showed in my work. Any future dresses will be made new, even if I have little girls to make dresses for. Also, the garments are made to exact measurements and I am known for weight fluctuations. None of my dresses fit from one year to the next. They were made for that season and never worn again. Image an array of dresses that fit exactly to the body ranging from 130 lbs up to 190 lbs. A 5 lb difference is huge, as evidenced by my wedding dress I made. I was 160 lbs when I got married. The dress fit perfectly on my wedding day. A week later, after my honeymoon was over, I had lost 5 lbs. I put it on to show my advanced sewing (draping) class and found we had to hold it up, it was so baggy. 

I pondered on where the dresses could go. I hated storing them and watching them collect dust. A big part of me doesn't want to let them go. Yet, reality states otherwise. Realistically, I will never wear these dresses again. Even if given the chance. I have had three babies and my body is gaining a new shape. After much thought I decided on two practical options. One, ask my friend who has three young girls and did renaissance faire stuff with me back in college. Her mother made my first renfaire dress. Two, donate the dresses to the local college drama department. The only costume I was likely to have trouble getting rid of was a ballet costume I got in 7th grade. It wasn't going to fit a college student and what would they use it for?

I emailed my friend and, thank the Lord, she said she wanted them. All of them, including the ballet costume. Now I don't have to worry about that. I hauled them out of my closet and dumped them in a great big pile. I have more in the garage that will join the pile. 

I also decided that it would be a good time to see what non-maternity clothes were there in the messy pile of jumbled clothing at the back of my closet. I decided to be realistic and take out everything that wasn't going to be worn again and put it in a goodwill donation pile. Let's just say that if I lose very much weight beyond baby weight, I'm going to need to buy new clothes. So much stuff has stains, holes, and is completely worn out. I wore these clothes daily, rotating through five shirts, month after month. No wonder there are so many stains. It's pretty evident I hate clothes shopping because there is not much to my "collection". 

I'm keeping 3 long sleeve shirts, 2 tank tops for layering, 5 short sleeve shirts, 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of sweat pants, 3 jean capris, 2 stretch jersey capris, and 1 bathing suit. That's it. I have dresses too but they are maternity and won't be suitable for nursing due to neckline. I also have about 8 long broom stick skirts I will wear depending on what size I am, as they range from medium to XXL. 

Next up, shoes. I'm not sure what I'll be tossing but some of them are getting crunchy due to age. Yuck.